Continuing on with the story of our homeschool journey. (see part 1 here)…
Over time, the idea grew within me.
I didn’t know what to do with it.
There were times when I tried to act like it didn’t belong to me.
But it followed me.
I worried what others would think.
I kept it to myself. I hid it away and didn’t talk about it. I tried to act like everything was the same as it was before my idea showed up.
But it wouldn’t go away.
Finally, (in September 2018) I was brave enough to tell Jershon about the strong impressions that I kept having to homeschool our children full time.
He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea. He felt opposite of me.
That was hard. I felt confused.
I decided to put the idea on the shelf and try to forget about it.
But there was something magical about my idea. I had to admit, I felt better and happier when it was around.
It wanted food. It wanted to play. Actually, it wanted a lot of attention.
Forgetting about it didn’t work. I could distract myself for a while at times, but every time it came back, it was stronger than before.
I spent a lot of time thinking about it.
It was painful to think about because I didn’t know if it would ever happen.
I spent a lot of time trying to study it out and figure out what I was feeling called to do and why.
I spent a lot of time praying about it.
I had to trust in God’s timing… which wasn’t always easy.
And then, finally, on March 1, 2019 (nearly a full year after this process started for me), God had been working on Jershon’s heart and we were able to be united (enough at least) in our decision to go ahead with what I had been feeling inspired to do.
We decided that we would try out homeschooling full time.
And that was just the beginning.
We kept the boys in school so they could finish up the last couple months and I would have time to prepare.
Once we made the official decision, the floodgates of inspiration came pouring in. I was led to resources that helped me to know what God wanted me to focus on and how He wanted me to design our homeschool. The scripture verses in 1 Nephi 17:8 and 1 Nephi 18:1-3 began to take on personal meaning for me.
And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto me, saying: Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters.
And it came to pass that they did worship the Lord, and did go forth with me; and we did work timbers of curious workmanship. And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship.
Now I, Nephi, did not work the timbers after the manner which was learned by men, neither did I build the ship after the manner of men; but I did build it after the manner which the Lord had shown unto me; wherefore, it was not after the manner of men.
And I, Nephi, did go into the mount oft, and I did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the Lord showed unto me great things.
The Lord gave me a vision for our little homeschool. He filled me with inspiration and instruction.
I began to understand why I had to wait so long and why, when I first received the prompting to homeschool, it just wasn’t the right timing. This is what I wrote in my journal on August 13, 2019.
I’ve come to realize now, a year later, that we were both right. I needed Jershon to not be on board with homeschooling at that time. I needed him to be against it so we wouldn’t go through with it. Not because homeschooling wasn’t the right thing for our family, but because just wasn’t the right timing.
If Jershon would have given me the stamp of approval back then, we probably would have pulled the boys out of school (they had only been in for less than a month), and I would have started homeschooling them. … which would have been fine, I’m sure. I already had some curriculum that is really great that I would have used with them. … but I wouldn’t have had the vision that I have now.
Over the past 6 months, since officially deciding to homeschool, I have received a lot of tutoring and instruction and preparation from the spirit. I have been led to resources and principles and tools that I didn’t know about a year ago. I have been given a vision for what should be our overarching focus and goal.
I have gained greater trust in the Lord and a greater desire and willing heart to educate my children how He wants me to – not how the world wants me to. Can I see everything clearly? Do I know how everything is going to work out? No. I am sure that I will continue to be taught, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. But I feel more confidence that He will lead us and will teach us what we need to know. I feel a greater perspective to make eternal life the goal of our education … not just college and a job.
I feel grateful to be able to look back over this past year and see how Heavenly Father’s hand has been there for our family and how we have been led and guided. I feel grateful for the faith and trust that I have gained and how my relationship with Heavenly Father has been strengthened.
During this time of waiting, I had also participated in the challenge that the prophet, Russell M. Nelson, gave to read The Book of Mormon, starting then (October 6), and finishing by the end of the year. I had a really great experience with this. I studied The Book of Mormon in greater depth than I had ever done before. I came to love The Book of Mormon.
Through that process, I became more truly converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I recognize now that I needed that experience and preparation so that I would have a clearer focus for our homeschool.
Over the past 7 months, since we began official homeschooling in September, the Lord has continued to speak to me and instruct me on how to build our “ship”. It is a fluid and living process. He guides me through personal revelation and helps me to know what our family, and each of my individual children need. It really is a beautiful thing.
