In June, I learned a lot about love and enjoying this phase of motherhood that I am currently experiencing. I started the month not really knowing how to let go of the baby phase of motherhood. I was in a state of mourning, as I am no longer a mom of babies. I wrote all about that here.
Tour Guide
Throughout June, I gained a lot of clarity and excitement for this relatively new and current phase of motherhood that I am in. There are a few specific things that have been helping me to see and embrace the joy of this stage. They can all be summed up by a song by Cheri Magill that was introduced to me a couple months ago. It’s called Tour Guide.
Go check it out if you haven’t heard it. I really love it. The lyrics talk about motherhood and how we get to be our children’s tour guide.
Lisbon, Belize, and the Oregon Coast;
Running in fresh grass with painted toes;
Watching the sun color all the evening sky.Driving the streets to see Christmas lights;
Learning to ride on a two wheeled bike
Footed pajamas and catching fireflies.My baby girl, welcome to your world.
Its open wide, and I’ll be your tour guide.Getting up after you’ve fallen hard;
Owning your story and all your scars;
Setting your feet on the not so traveled path.Daring to give your own heart away;
Giving to someone who can’t repay;
Learning to treasure the season that you have.My baby girl, welcome to your world.
Its open wide, and I’ll be your tour guide.So much to show you, so much for you to find.
Where the doors that are closed open to those who are brave and kind.My baby girl, welcome to your world.
Its open wide, and I’ll be your tour guide.Yes, I’ll be your tour guide.
There are a few things that I have been focusing on this summer that have been helping me to be a more intentional tour guide for my kids: camping, reading aloud, and summer school at home.
Camping
By the end of June, we had already gone camping 4 times. Going camping with our kids is getting easier now that they are getting a little older. And it has been really fun.
I love that it’s a time when we get to just go on an adventure as a family and we throw out all (well, most) of the technology, the rules and the schedule. We get play in the dirt, we go to bed late, we lay on a blanket out under the stars, we sit around the fire, we explore, etc.
I feel like I get to be their tour guide by introducing them to nature and the wonders of this beautiful earth.
Reading aloud
I have been reading a book called The Read Aloud Family by Sarah Mackenzie and its been really inspiring. I have been learning more about the benefits and importance of reading aloud to my kids. (it’s so good for being fully present, bonding, shared experiences, learning together, learning empathy, becoming better readers/writers, etc.)
This is something that I have tried to do throughout my mothering, but not as intentionally or as often than I wish I would have. But I’m remedying that now.
I have been intentionally reading aloud to my kids (even my boys who know how to read on their own) throughout the day. Jershon and I have also committed to reading aloud to our kids every night before we put them to bed.
About 30 minutes before bedtime, we all gather on our bed and we read to the kids. We have a little scripture study and then we pick a few picture books or a part of a chapter book to read to them.
I have been loving this little ritual and it’s exciting to be my kids’ tour guide through books.
“When she was hardly more than a girl, Miss Minnie had gone away to a teacher’s college and prepared herself to teach by learning many cunning methods that she never afterward used. For Miss Minnie loved children and she loved books, and she taught merely by introducing the one to the other.” (Wendell Berry, quoted in The Read Aloud Family.)
Summer School
I’m not sure how, but a few months ago, I stumbled across @monsonschoolhouse on instagram. If you don’t follow her, go check her out! My boys go to public school and we love their school, but I have been fascinated by how Mikael runs her little home schoolhouse. Following her has been so inspiring.
I was especially intrigued by the curriculum that she uses from The Good and the Beautiful.
So I thought to myself, why not do a little school at home this summer? So that’s what we have been doing. I bought some of The Good and the Beautiful curriculum and we’ve been spending a couple of hours in the morning doing our little school.
Doing this little home school for the summer has been really fun so far. I love that I get to be the kids’ teacher and we get to learn together. I love that I feel like I am helping to fill their minds with good and beautiful things. I sit down, and spend a good 2 hours each morning, just focused on the kids. The kids love it too.
At the end of June, we finished our first science unit – The Solar System. We really enjoyed learning details about the universe. Going star gazing on our campouts was extra fun and exciting because we had been learning about the stars and planets.
Here’s a journal entry from June 29th that conveys my thoughts and feelings about all of this…
I was just realizing that I have been looking forward to this phase of motherhood for a long time.
Last night when everyone was here for my birthday dinner, Jena saw the papers for our summer school unit (space science) on the wall in the dining room and she asked me what it was.
I started telling her about the little summer school that we are doing and how I am using the good and the beautiful curriculum.
She was really interested in it and said “I’m excited to do that kind of thing when my kids get older.”
Fast forward to now… I was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of water and happened to glance over at that wall and see the summer school papers. I was reminded of our conversation last night and thinking about how it will still be at least a few years (probably 4 or 5) before Ailee will be old enough for Jena to do stuff like this with her.
And that made me realize something. Throughout the past 8 years since Landon was born (and probably before I even had kids), I have heard about neat systems and ideas from other more experienced moms (mostly online) that have sounded really interesting and exciting to me and i have looked forward to the day that I could implement those things in my own mothering.
And now, that time has come for a lot of those things. I love the baby phase. I do. But I’m realizing that I’ve looked forward to this stage of motherhood for a long time. The stage where I could really dive deeper into teaching my kids and getting to use the resources that have sounded really interesting and exciting to me.
What does this have to do with feelings?
I know that sometimes the things that I share on these Feel 2018 observations and reflections posts may not seem like they have much to do with feelings, specifically.
But in reality, any changes that I make in my life are heavily influenced by feelings. And really recognizing and understanding my feelings is what leads me to be open to the inspiration and guidance that I need in order to grow and move forward.
In this particular case, really feeling the ache and coming to an understanding what was going on inside my mind and heart was what helped me to be able to move forward and be open to figuring out how to love motherhood right now.
For several months (during my sister in law’s entire pregnancy), I didn’t really understand the jealous thoughts and feelings that I was experiencing – I didn’t even recognize them as jealousy – they were disguised as different emotions like irritation and frustration.
But when I finally realized that what I was experiencing was jealousy, I was able to look even deeper and realize that the jealousy came from not allowing myself to mourn the end of the baby phase.
And when I allowed myself the time and space to mourn and pour my feelings out to Heavenly Father, then I was able to lean into the possibility of loving this current phase just as much. And then Heavenly Father put things in my path that helped me to find the joy in this phase.
Social Media Fast
Another thing that I did in June was a 7 day social media fast. I took the challenge that the Prophet, Russell M. Nelson gave to the youth of the church.
When I first watched the devotional with President and Sister Nelson, I was hesitant in joining in on the social media fast challenge. After all, his address was geared towards the youth…not me. But after stewing over it during the next couple days and deciding that I would regret not taking the challenge, I decided to go for it.
I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I would be jipping myself on blessings if I didn’t listen to the prophet and try this out for myself. Even if he wasn’t talking to me, he was talking to me. Just because I’m not between the ages of 12-18 doesn’t mean that this wouldn’t be good for me.
I learned a lot during that week but the biggest thing that happened was that I received a lot of inspiration and felt the push to write a blog post about why I am a Mormon. I hope that this post can help others, but just as important, it helped me.
And that wraps up June! 🙂
