Taking a little break from my Feel 2018 posts – kind of… there’s still some feelings stuff sprinkled in here. haha – to write about some puzzle pieces that I’ve been discovering and putting together the past few weeks…
Yesterday morning, I was reading in Alma 32. If you are familiar with this chapter, then you know that it’s the “seed of faith” chapter. Even though I’ve read this many times before, this time it stuck out to me in a different and deeper way.
Before quoting Alma, I want to mention a couple of the other puzzle pieces that were given to me before, that made these verses in Alma stick out so much more.
I am still participating in Wife for Life University and this semester I’m also taking the new “master’s classes” that Ramona is offering once a month for those of us that have taken at least 3 semesters of W4LU.
After our master’s class in a few weeks ago, one of the women that was in my class posted on the forum. She posted about how much clarity she had received during our class the day before and how she was able to feel her walls, worries, fears, insecurities, and excuses melt away. Her marriage all of a sudden had more significance than she had ever seen before. She could see her husband more clearly. She felt understanding, patience, kindness, longing and those feelings of love were so real and tangible.
She expressed that she desperately wanted to know how to hold onto that clarity and that perspective. She described it like she was holding sand or water in her cupped hands and she was frantically trying to keep it in there and not let it slip through her fingers. She already felt like it was fading and she was starting to forget how she felt.
She asked for advice on how to hold on and not let it slip away.
I am sure that all of us can relate to this in one way or another. We all experiences moments of absolute clarity in our lives but they often seem to fade and slip away.
A few of us responded to her with some good ideas, but I really appreciated Ramona’s response to her and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. She told this woman that she (Ramona) wanted to assert that what she felt during and after class was REAL – far more real actually, than the faded or buried or forgotten version. Ramona expressed that that’s why this woman was so desperate to hold onto it. It feels like something that can be trusted. It is worth every effort to hold on to. But it’s not really a matter of “holding on” to anything. It’s a matter of creating it again, over and over, as often as possible throughout your life. Each time these moments are re-lived, they are deeper and more compelling and more wondrous than the last time.
Ramona went on to tell this woman some specific ideas including journaling, continuing education, and intentional perspective.
The points that really stood out to me from what Ramona said were about the feeling that was felt during class and the moments of insight, inspiration, clarity, etc. Those were REAL. The other advice that I really appreciated is that it’s not so much about holding on to our past experiences that taught us something – although, that is really important. Remembering is definitely important. But even more important is creating and experiencing those experiences over and over again and solidifying that knowledge even deeper and deeper.
Photo by Daniel Hjalmarsson on Unsplash
So this brings me back to Alma (with some of my own thoughts sprinkled in)…
30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.
31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness.
32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.
33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.
34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.
35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?
It is REAL. The world probably wouldn’t recognize it as reality because it’s not tangible to our own eyes, but the light is there. We just can’t see it physically.
36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.
We planted the seed and see that it is good. So we have a knowledge that it is a good seed. But it doesn’t stop there. Faith is not over. This is when we nourish the seed and like Ramona said, we create opportunities and lean into opportunities that are presented to us to experience the growth of this seed, over and over again. Each experience deepens our faith and gets us closer to that sure knowledge.
37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.
39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.
Don’t blame the seed if it doesn’t continue to grow and if it dies. It’s not the seed’s fault. It’s not like the seed is bad all of a sudden. It’s because we haven’t nourished the seed.
40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.
41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.
42 And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.
43 Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.
I think one of the biggest rewards of this fruit is true confidence. More on that in a bit…
This all reminds me of the experience that I had with using Christ as my buffer when we were in India. This was a really powerful experience for me. It was REAL. But it’s not the end. It’s just the beginning. The seed has been planted. Now it’s my job to continue to nourish it. It’s my job to continue to experiment on this and continue to choose to put my faith in Christ and use Him as my buffer. As I do this, I will have more and more experiences that will give me more evidence that Christ is REAL and his power to bring peace to my soul is REAL. Over time, this will turn from faith to knowledge.
When we have these experiences, we need to record them. It’s important to record them as quickly as possible so that we have the best chance of recording the reality of them, when we still remember the details, and when our brains are still on the same page as our hearts – believing that they actually happened.
We can review these records over time and see that that the evidence of their reality is there over and over again. We look at the data of experiences from our own life and this helps to turn our faith to knowledge.
Photo by Edu Grande on Unsplash
The most recent puzzle piece that I’ve uncovered leads me back to my quest that I’ve been on to really come to know that I am a child of God and to gain true confidence.
Over time, I believe that having multiple real experiences with nourishing seeds of faith, will leads to confidence. True confidence. Confidence that is real and that is dependable. Confidence that is unwavering faith – faith that is bordering on knowledge.
This confidence isn’t in ourselves, although, believing in ourselves is a natural outcome. The belief in ourselves is more about trusting that we have the faith to trust God completely in any given circumstance.
Like I mentioned in my last post, we can’t rely on ourselves 100% because we are human. Even if we have an amazing track record of self control and mental control, there is still that chance that we will be unpredictable and let ourselves down when we are faced with something that is extra challenging – either something that we haven’t experienced before or in the heat of the moment when we are off our groove.
“That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.” (Doctrine and Covenants 50:24)
