As Porter was getting ready to go up to bed tonight, he stopped at the bottom of the stairs (where I was too) and just stood there for a moment. I’m grateful that I wasn’t feeling irritated or rushed in that moment (especially considering that it was already past bedtime) because typically I probably would have just told him to stop just standing there and that he needed to go get ready for bed.
But instead, the spirit told me that Porter had something to say to me. He was stalling, waiting for Landon to walk up the stairs, so that he could talk to just me.
When we were finally alone, he stumbled over his words for a minute, but I finally understood what he was saying. He told me that every night he has a hard time falling asleep because he is scared that a bad guy is going to take him in the night. … I guess because we had recently had a little talk about how there are bad guys in the world and we need to be cautious and smart about protecting ourselves.
I asked him what he could do to not feel scared and he said “say a prayer”. I then took that opportunity to tell him that an even more powerful prayer is when we pray for things specifically. I told him that he can ask Heavenly Father to send angels to be with him and to protect him. And he can even ask for specific ancestor angels to come. I said “you can ask for Charles Alfred Harper to come, and Charles Wesley Hubbard, and Stephen Markham (the pioneer ancestor that Porter represented last year)… remember how Stephen Markham was one of Joseph Smith’s body guards? I bet he is really good at fighting off bad guys. And you can ask for Swen Swenson, Dan Swenson, Jay Hall, and Evan Marchant to come… and any other angels that are available.” I asked him if the angels helped to push our van out when we were stuck the other day and he said yes. Well, the angels will be here to help him too then.
I told him that saying a prayer is always the right answer and the first thing he should do.
And then beyond that, there are some other skills and tools that he can use. I explained to him about how his mind is a stage and there can only be one “actor” (thought) on the stage at a time. If a new thought comes on, the old thought is forced off.
One of the best ways to force the bad thoughts off the stage of our mind is to sing a song… out loud (which is probably even more powerful) or in our minds. He can pick some primary songs and sing them over and over again in his head. … and if the bad thoughts start coming back (because he quit singing and left the stage empty for a second), then he can just start singing again.
Another tool is to look around his room and say (out loud or in his head), “there’s my pillow; there’s my blanket; there is the door; there is the window; there is my chore chart; there is the basket of stuffed animals; there is my closet… etc.” This will help bring his brain back to reality… what is actually happening and real in that moment… because the bad guy isn’t real in that exact moment… its just made up in his imagination.
By the end of our conversation, I could tell that he didn’t feel as afraid and anxious anymore. Those feelings had been replaced with feelings of empowerment and peace.
I was grateful for this moment that I had with Porter where I could be that safe place for him and where I could teach him some important skills.
“It is my testimony that however fabulous your life is right now, or however discouraging and heartbreaking it may be, your involvement in family history and temple work will make it better. What do you need in your life right now? More love? More joy? More self-mastery? More peace? More meaningful moments? More of a feeling that you’re making a difference? More fun? Could you use more answers to your soul-searching questions? More heart-to-heart connections with others? More understanding of what you are reading in the scriptures? More ability to love and to forgive? How about more ability to pray with power? More inspiration and creative ideas for your work and other projects? More time for what really matters?
My dear brothers and sisters, I entreat you to make a sacrifice of time to the Lord by increasing the time you spend doing temple and family history work, and then watch what happens. It is my testimony that when we show the Lord we are serious about helping our ancestors, the heavens will open and we will receive all that we need.” (Wendy Watson Nelson)
I have no doubt that being so involved in family history has been giving me additional blessings. I wouldn’t be surprised if my ancestors have been helping to place these little love gifts from Heavenly Father in my path.
