Like I mentioned at the end of my last post, negative and positive emotion go hand in hand.
As Brene Brown says, “We can’t selectively numb emotions – when we numb the dark, we also numb the light. When “taking the edge off” with a couple of glasses of red wine becomes a routine, our experiences of joy and love and trust will become duller too. With less positive emotion in our lives, we are drawn to numbing. It’s a vicious cycle.” (From the book Rising Strong, pg 63)
Photo by Biel Morro on Unsplash
A visual/analogy that comes to mind when I think about Brene’s quote is that my heart is like a little house and it has a door on it. When I was born, that door was wide open. I experienced everything fully and completely (as complete as a human can). When I experienced an emotion – good and bad – my whole heart was in it.
Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash
But over time, and as I experienced more of the emotional dangers of life, I slowly shut that door more and more, as a protective mechanism.
Photo by Sam Beasley on Unsplash
It’s not always closed. But halfway closed has become my default. The door may open all the way for brief moments, but then it goes back to the default of half way closed. It may close all the way at times, but after a while, it opens back up to halfway again.
In some ways, it’s kind of nice to have that little door mostly shut. It’s easier to “keep the riff raff out.” When I experience a negative emotion, some of it may leak in a little through the crack in the door, but I can just be sort of numb to the rest of it and not let it hurt me. It feels safer that way.
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The problem is, that little crack doesn’t let in much light. And when I experience a positive emotion, I just get a portion of it, and not the whole thing. And that’s sad.
So it’s a trade off. I can dull the pain of the negative emotions by closing the door to my heart, but at the same time, that closed door is blocking out the light and love from the positive emotions that are trying to get in.
Or, my other option is that I can open up that door as wide as it goes. It’s scary. When I do that, I’m opening myself up to a lot more pain and heartache. The riff raff can just walk right in and take a seat on the little couch in my heart house and try to make itself at home.
Photo by Arno Smit on Unsplash
The trade off is worth it though. With that wide open door, I get to experience the utter intensity of positive emotions like joy and love and peace. And with those emotions, I can connect with others in a way that is unimaginable. With that door wide open, the Holy Ghost is welcome and able to come dwell in my little heart house. And He will show me how to kick out the riff raff.
I have been searching for an image that would represent “my little heart house”. I finally decided to see if someone could paint one for me. I found my new friend @princessleia_art on Fiverr.com and she painted this little heart house for me. 🙂 I love that it reminds me to open up the door to my heart and let God and love (God is Love) in. It reminds me to lean into my feelings and to really feel them.
“Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation.” (Doctrine and Covenants 8:2-3)
