I was just thinking today (after watching a Instagram live video of Kelly Jensen (I follow her on Instagram and she is so inspiring to me.) She was talking about just doing your best as a mom and not allowing all the mom guilt into your life. Another thing that she mentioned was our kids are the perfect kids for us and we are the perfect moms for them. So it doesn’t matter what other moms do for their kids – if they go on more adventures, have bigger birthday parties, do more crafts, etc. Maybe our kids don’t need those things as much as those other kids do, and maybe the things that we uniquely offer to our kids are the things that they need and they have the right mom to provide those experiences for them. I like that. It minimizes the mom comparison trap that we get stuck in a lot.
Another thing that she mentioned was that the most important thing is that everyday, is that we express to our kids that we love them and that we’re cheering them on. We can take their faces in our hands and really talk to them and really listen to them. Everyday. I really liked that and feel like I could improve a lot in this area.
So then I was thinking that it would probably be helpful for me to define what success looks like to me on a daily basis as far as mothering goes. What is something that, if that were the only good thing I did all day (even if I completely bombed it in all other areas), that would make me a successful mother? And then after I define what that one thing is and work towards accomplishing it every day, then I can just try my best in all of the other areas, but when I fail, give myself grace and compassion and know that I am trying…and that I am still successful.
So I think that the thing that I am going to do everyday is to get down, at eye level, with each of my kids individually and tell them at least one thing that I love and appreciate about them. And then give them a hug. This is such a small thing – but yet a big thing at the same time. I want my children to know that I love them. And this doesn’t take a lot of time, just a couple minutes for each child.
At the end of each day, if I have done this one thing, then I will have succeeded at mothering that day. And if I do more good mom things that day, then those are just bonuses. 🙂